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The genius of glitch
by Dee Inez | 15 May 2012 |
Lovin' this new "glitch" thing. It's a fab way of making light of a tricky situation. It makes you wonder why others don't adopt it as a way of lightening the mood.
For example, ever since this global financial glitch started in 2008, everyone's been moping around, unhappy with their lot. Which is a lot of fuss for a glitch. Cheer up, it's only money!
To get a better sense of the inspiration behind the glitch moniker, I asked ICANN for information about how it came about. As one of the most transparent and accountability organizations the world has ever known, the legal team were only too keen to oblige and happily released a transcript of their discussion held at their headquarters in Marina de Lay just days after their application system was pulled offline.
Lawyer 1: Nice work on the draft release Akram, we know how hard it can be to write lots of words that say nothing. We do have a small problem with the word 'error' here, however. And in this next paragraph, 'fault' is maybe not the most expedient choice. We held a quick poll and agreed that perhaps these words would give the sense of, you know, us having really screwed up.
Akram: So what do we do? We're doomed, doooooomed I tell you!
Lawyer 2: Ok, we talked about this. Let's calm down and focus, AA. We have an idea. What we'll do is call it a 'glitch'. It's what computers do when there's a rainstorm, or when Janet Jackson flashes her nipple. So we thought we might use that word - and only that word - from now on whenever there's a release. Maybe add 'technical' if you want some variety. They're all techies out there, they may actually feel sorry for us.
You have to love the simplicity. 'Glitch' smoothes all those bad thoughts with warm, fuzzy, cuddly feelings.
So where else can glitchiness help rub the edges off things? How about movies? Who wants go watch a nasty, depressing, scary movie about disasters, war, sharks, whatever? Think about it… Apocaglitch Now! Much better. I've even mocked up a poster.
Because the thing is, if you call it a glitch, it's guaranteed that no one will notice that it's a total, run-around-panicking, headless-chicken mess.
Wonder if ICANN will provide backing? They've got plenty of cash these days.